Lingo

Tomorrow Eli turns three weeks old. It is amazing to think about how our lives have changed in the last twenty days. I've gone from never having changed a diaper to simply not being very good at it. Shelby has learned that she is part milk machine. And we both learned that a three hour block of sleep is a luxury not to be dismissed lightly.

As I suspect is true for almost all new parents, we've come up with our own shorthand vocabulary to describe Eli and his activities, often euphemistically. I'm sure this will continue to evolve as Eli's behavioral repertoire expands. For the time being, we have:

'Checking the vitals' - Examining his diaper. This confused our pregnant friend Renee, who thought, initially, that we literally needed to check his vital signs regularly.

'Fuss-monster' - Slang for an awake Eli (usage: 'what's up with the fuss monster')

'Chasing the cow' - When Eli cries in search of food

'roo him up' - Putting Eli in his carrier sling

'Suck-monster' - Eli, while eating

'Sucktown' - Mom, while Eli eats

'Drunk on white gold' - Eli after eating

'Timing the time bomb' - Scheduling activities in two to three hour windows between feedings

The last few days have been comparatively uneventful. I worked a full day for the first time since Eli's birth, but the fuss-monster was on relatively good behavior with Shelby. Today I was home for most of the day, which allowed Shelby to go on a long walk this morning and run an errand this afternoon.

Eli's outings and more

You can see that Eli has been getting out and about and trying all sorts of new things.  He took his first trip to the Union terrace and to the zoo last week.  He also was showing his support for the Milwaukee Brewers with his baseball cap that is too big for him now.  I just hope it will still fit him next year during baseball season.  You can also see that Eli is enjoying the little bouncy chair that Gretta let us borrow (he really likes it).  And, I often have a bit of playtime with Eli at my feet.

Thai Iced Tea and the Hazards of Sleep, Interrupted

It is midnight. I haven't slept through the night in three weeks. Yet I sit here typing this wide-eyed. Since I gave up soda (almost entirely) nearly four years ago, I haven't had much caffeine. Not that I avoid it at all costs, but I generally just don't have much. Since Eli's birth, however, even small amounts of caffeine seem to be enough to totally rewire my sleep cycle. A Mountain Dew in the middle of the afternoon on Wednesday helped me stay awake during class, a meeting after class, dinner, TV, putting Eli to sleep, more TV, more TV, more TV...and tonight's Thai Iced Tea, consumed without considering the consequence, appears to be having the same effect. 

The last few days have been exciting as we've debuted Eli to the larger world of Madison. We ate lunch at the Memorial Union yesterday, swung by our lab in Research Park, brought Eli to cheer me on in a soccer game (which we won, despite being outclassed, go us!), and took Eli to the dog park with Triscuit. Eli is adapting well, if that includes sleeping contentedly. Apparently we are entering the treacherous, colic-zone where Eli becomes more alert to his surroundings at the risk of becoming fussier. Thus far, we've been spared. But it may be only a matter of time. 

We've also made the major (though possibly misguided) decision to bring Eli with us on our travels the rest of the year. This will include a MSN-ORD-DCA-MIA-ORD-MSN trip to two NIH meetings and one great-grandmother in November, as well as a trip to San Juan in December. Fortunately, Grandma Linda and Grandpa Mike will be accompanying us to Puerto Rico to help with baby sitting, since I am chairing the conference and Shelby is integral to its organization. One saving grace, at least at the moment, is that Eli loves being worn in a sling, which could potentially make the flying, if not easier, at least less awful than it otherwise would be. 

OK, I should...actually, one of the strange effects of caffeine on me is the tendency towards manic obsessiveness. Don't ask why I suddenly decided that I needed to recover my calendars going back until 2001 from old backups, but here we are.

Eli tricked me!

As Dave may have explained, sleep deprivation is not too bad when we get 3 modules of sleep at night where each module is 2+ hours long.  Last night, the first module was just over 3 hours.  I was pretty excited because I thought that meant he might sleep for another module of 3 hours. Well, sure enough, the next module was 2 hours and the following module was 1 hour.  I was tricked!!!!  Fortunately, I got in a final 2 hour module that left me feeling better.  From now on, I'll be suspicious if I get a 3 hour block of sleep.....

The New Adventures of Mom Shelby

This is what work looks like these days. We have a persistent video link with our conference room at the lab so we can have real-time videoconferences with our lab staff and instructors in the HIV class we teach to undergrads (as shown below).

A content Wedensday

Well, little Eli has been pretty content today.  As you see in the picture that Dave posted -- I got a little extra family sleep this morning.  That was nice....real nice.  Eli has been generally quiet today.  Sue and I took him out on a walk earlier.  I put him in the carrier (while he was awake) and he fell right to sleep while we were out walking.  It must be cozy for him.  He also spent some time sitting in his pillow --- trying to help Sue and I with our puzzle.  Dave took a video, and I'm sure that will get posted later.  Anyway, I hear him waking now, so I better go check the vitals!

The Hound Adapts

Here is visual evidence that Triscuit isn't too perturbed by having Eli in 'his' room.

The Pattern of Paternity Leave

As we are now well into our second week at home with Eli, Shelby and I have settled into a pattern, more or less. I'm working - quite a lot, actually - but am doing it from home so I can help take care of Eli so she can run errands, go for walks, or take care of herself. She is working a bit less, but trying to make sure she stays engaged with lab activities. Once we get into the evenings, it gets hairier as Eli fusses. From about 5-8, Eli fusses and eats a lot. We all generally work towards sleep starting at around 9 or 10, a process that ultimately takes 10-12 hours once the waking, sleeping, feeding, and changing is considered. In the mornings, we start the process all over again. 

One big adjustment is the lack of frenetic activity at home. When I'm at work, I'm either coming, going, meeting, talking, typing, emailing, IMing, or otherwise on the move. Trying to sit at home quietly just doesn't match my personality, even if I'm doing work on the laptop. To compensate, at least partially, I've taken to watching CNBC which, while abjectly annoying at times, moves very quickly during the day. Unlike CNN or MSNBC, which seem to recycle the same stories every hour, at least the business news is always changing and evolving. Plus, I'm learning a lot about bailouts, bad investments, and foreclosures. 

Tomorrow Eli will be two weeks old. We've heard that the third through eighth weeks are often the most challenging, so I can't say that we're really looking forward to that.

Eli as Fashion Accessory

Today we decided to pilot use of our baby carrier. At first we were dubious that 'wearing' Eli was anything but a goofy, new-age fad. As we read more about the concept, it began to appeal to us. As noted in the picture below, it gives us the opportunity to have both hands free to read, type, or do things around the house while keeping Eli close. Eli seems to like it too - he hasn't really cried all afternoon, which may be a new record for him. In fact, as I type this in the office, Eli is resting contentedly on my chest. I think it will take some time to adjust to the visual incongruity (I look like a camouflaged kangaroo preparing for battle), but it does seem handy so far.

Mom's first picture

Shelby meant to post this before....she's still learning how to use the blogger.

Mom's first post

Shelby and Eli spent a little early afternoon time on the couch today.   This was the first time that Triscuit decided to snuggle up next to them too!  How exciting! 

Shelby is certainly tired from the nighttime feedings.  But, Eli is giving her some two-hour blocks of sleep.  That does help.  It does sound odd, but he eats a bit and then falls asleep.  Eli needs to stay awake long enough to get enough food so that he can stay asleep and satisfied for at least two hours.  When he just snacks, he only sleeps for one hour.  That is just not enough winks for Shelby.  But, the feeding is paying off.  Eli is nearly back to birth weight -- woo hoo!

One week (and then some)

The last few days have passed in a blur. Eli celebrated his first week with some crying, eating, and burping on Wednesday. Grandma Gail returned for a visit that same day - she is here helping until Sunday. We are all gradually adjusting to the presence of Eli in our lives. Already it is clear that time has a different connotation. There have been several times when we've looked at a clock, looked away for what seems like only a moment, and returned to discover that somehow thirty minutes have passed. As we compensate for fragmented sleep schedules by trying to sleep a little bit more, the number of waking hours declines. Together, these make the days feel very short and compressed. I can't believe it is already Friday...

On another note, Eli is Collinsizing our tastes. When Eli (finally) falls asleep, we don't want to disturb his rest by playing music that is likely to wake him up. Enter more Phil Collins and his adult contemporary ilk. While we've never been huge fans of thrash metal, we've become sensitive to any music that has unusual loudness. And that is how Eli has Collinsized our lives.

Paradise by the bedroom nightlight

Though it's about 10 PM, I'm just catching my second wind from the day. Eli still likes to explore the after hours scene, so we don't get too much sleep. This morning I took advantage and went to the gym. I thought I was doing pretty good until I got home, iced my ankle, and promptly fell asleep for an hour and a half. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the house, Shelby and Eli were catching some sleep of their own. Eventually we decided it would be a good idea to get up (actually, I think Eli raised the motion by crying for food). 

We took him to the pediatrician and learned that Eli gained two ounces since Sunday. The doctors and nurses thought this was outstanding, and Shelby felt validated that her feeding hasn't been in vain! Oh, and then we all took another 2-3 hour nap. But for thirty blissful minutes after waking up, I was able to function pretty normally! Until the next wave of fatigue settled in. 

One interesting tidbit from the first week with Eli is that our eating schedules have been completely hijacked. Today I ate three meals at roughly the right time, but most days this week I've either (1) missed a meal or two or (2) fallen asleep right after eating. Thanks to the great help from our friends and neighbors who have brought us food, there really aren't any good reasons why we've missed meals, except that we're routine people who don't find it natural to eat breakfast at 11 in the morning. 

In today's geeky diversion, I've been tracking usage of the blog for the last week. Save for one visit from Georgia/Ukraine (hi Adam, stop fomenting unrest!), all our visits have come from people in the US. Here is a map of where:

 

We also got to dress Eli in Madison's most fashionable hippie garb (thanks Roger and Mari!)

We spent some nice time on the couch together today, when both Dave and Eli were awake:

But then we gave Eli his first bath since coming home from the hospital. He wasn't so keen on that.

Skype and the art of working from home

Today was the first day where we blended a little bit of work back into our lives. When you are accustomed to working huge hours (and being on email nearly 24/7), the adjustment to working full days (only 8 hours!) or half days (4 hours?!?) is dramatic. By the time I went to lab meeting, had a meeting about our undergraduate HIV/AIDS course, did some email, and tuned into our HIV/AIDS course remotely, I'd already worked more than 6 hours today. Fortunately, most of that was at home with Eli and Shelby. The key is the near magical power of Skype and Acrobat Connect. The former lets us audio and video conference with campus, lab, and colleagues. The latter lets us watch presentations (such as class lectures) and review data from our computers at home. With this combination, we expect to spend a lot of time at home with Eli this fall and winter while still continuing to run the lab (which is now about 15 people)!

We're settling into a rhythm with Eli. He is feeding very often...and we are learning the virtue of patience. His hysterical shrieking fits are less frequent. Either that or we are simply losing our hearing. I'm certain that there are more incisive or profound thoughts about parenthood that come and go throughout the day, but recall suffers under the weight of sleep deprivation. 

Eli Meets the Dog

Eli met Triscuit on Friday, but didn't really get any reciprocation until this morning. Triscuit is now showing a keen interest in the newest addition to our family, sniffing him when we got back from the doctor, laying next to us on the couch, and generally following us around. Like many aspects of the last week, it is a curious marriage of the undeniably cute and lingering doubt (our predatory hound did once present us with a "gift" rabbit, after all).

Also, Eli's visit to the pediatrician this morning (completely healthy) underscored how you know he is living in Wisconsin. Note the giant cow in the reception area and the cow spotted chair in the examination room.

Welcome to Sucktown, population Eli

Today has been a bit more relaxing than the last few. Some of that is undoubtedly due to being back in our house, some is due to the help of Shelby's parents who are staying with us until tomorrow, and some of it is likely due to our attempts to more closely mirror Eli's schedule. Today was the closest that I ever came to matching the schedule of my friend Joe, who often lives a schedule that is diametrically opposite of ours. I slept from 12-3, and again from about 5-6. Shelb slept from 10-12 and again from about 5-6.

During our brief waking time, we strapped Eli into his baby seat and took him for a walk around the block with Triscuit. Though it was drizzling, Eli slept peacefully. He seemed to enjoy the occasional bumps as we walked over the cracks on the sidewalk. 

Eli is feeding nearly all the time, thus the title of this post. The less said of this the better, but I think Shelby has spent more than 30% of her waking moments today feeding Eli. 

Tonight we opened several of the generous gifts from friends and family. Video will be forthcoming.

More cute videos of Eli

A few more videos from the hospital. 

The evening of Eli's discontent

Eli's first night home was a long one. He is angelic during the day, but inconsolable during the night. I stayed up with him until about 2 AM. Shelby tried to take over after that. By about 8 AM this morning he settled down nicely and has been sleeping ever since. Perhaps he is part vampire? 

At any rate, here are a few more pictures from Eli's first few days in the hospital. 

Homeward Bound

Eli is now safely home. He is adjusting quickly to his new surroundings, but has yet to meet our 70 Lb greyhound. I suspect that the meeting will be equally frightening for both of them. Now that I'm home, I can inundate people with even more pictures and movies. If you want to see more pictures of Eli, check out the gallery at:

Eli's First Days (Facebook, no login required)

If all goes well, I might even get a chance to play a little soccer tonight. Assuming I can stay awake that long!!

Eli, acting circumscript

Exciting last day in the hospital. Eli was wonderful yesterday. He slept most of the day, allowing us to catch up somewhat on sleep. Grandma Gail and Grandpa Allan arrived late in the afternoon and got to meet their first grandchild. We even got to sleep for 3 whole hours from 11-2 this morning! Then Eli decided that he wanted to join the slow food movement. He ate, but only a little bit, every 30 minutes for the next several hours. Perhaps he was gathering his energy for his big morning meeting with the circumcision knife. He got 'cut' about an hour ago and seems to be resting comfortably. 

One element of childbirth that surprised me is the interactivity of the medical procedures. During the birth process, the nurse had me actively helping positioning Shelby for birth. Despite our early apprehension about watching the circumcision (the videos of adult/adolescent circumcisions that we've seen in HIV prevention campaigns are...graphic), we accompanied Eli during his. He sucked a sugar solution off my finger throughout the entire procedure. I thought that, if anything, we would observe the doctors making the cut at a safe distance. Neat and memorable, that's for sure. 

We should be leaving the hospital within the next few hours. I just fought the car seat (and I won), so we have a baby carrier in the room. I expect that by mid-afternoon we will be home with Eli. A big introduction with Triscuit awaits, followed undoubtedly by watching hurricane Ike make landfall in the middle of the night. If we have to be up, might as well have something other than informercials to watch! 

Eli, meet pacifier

We successfully weathered the first night with Eli. He is feeding aggressively, sometimes for more than an hour at a time, which is a bit hard on Shelby. But he finally slept for about two hours, giving us a much needed chance to catch up a little bit on sleep. We captured another few hours of sleep late this morning as Grandma Linda and Grandpa Mike watched over him. 

Eli is exploring the world around him. This morning he left the birthing room for the first time (and setting off a baby abduction alarm in the process), tried a pacifier, and will soon learn the joy of getting a blood stick (not to mention his upcoming date with the foreskin exorcist). 

Eli Standard Time

Shelby and I are rapidly adjusting to our new time zone, Eli Standard Time. The last day has been a blur. Eli is mostly quiet and content, except for when he's not. Fortunately, he is eating well, seems healthy, and is adjusting well to his environment. Today he got to meet one set of his grandparents. Tomorrow he will be introduced to the other set. Shelby and I are holding up well, but being awake through the night yesterday is taking its toll. We snuck several short naps this afternoon and are feeling better now. On an unrelated note, want to tell that a baby is born in Wisconsin? Look at the hat. Note the green and gold. Not coincidence.

Eli Uncut

Here is some video of the baby's first hours. Eli himself will be decidedly more cut tomorrow, after his circumcision.

More details for the curious and/or bored

It is surreal to be typing this in a hospital room. Fourteen hours ago Shelby and I walked down to Monroe Street for dinner, joking about the possibility that the baby would arrive in time for us to watch football on Sunday (his expected due date). The day was really "no big deal" - the biggest excitement was that our dog Triscuit turned five yesterday so we made sure he got ice cream on the walk. We ate dinner, worked, and went up to bed early since we had both been up early exercising.

While I was getting ready for bed, Shelby was in bed reading. Suddenly her water broke and there was no doubt that the baby was on its way. Contractions began almost immediately and our OB urged us to come immediately to the hospital. Despite what the books and classes told us, there was no discretionary time at home to pack up last minute items or watch a movie. It was time to go. Fortunately, we dropped Triscuit off with our friends and made our way to the hospital. 

As soon as we arrived, it was clear that labor was reasonably far along. Shelby's pain was the first clue, but it was confirmed after the doctor examined her. Several other women were delivering at about the same time, so the biggest immediate issue was the queue to get an epidural anesthetic. Eventually she got the drugs, which made the rest of the process far more pleasant than it otherwise would have been. We waited around for about an hour, watched an episode of Arrested Development, and were told it was time to get this baby out. About an hour later, the baby was born. Total time from water breaking to baby born was less than 6 hours. 

The next few hours were a blur as our terrific nurse efficiently told us a lot of information that I've already managed to forget. At some point around 6, I was able to get a little bit of sleep; Shelby is catching up on sleep as I write this. The baby (who I really need to start referring to as 'Eli') is able to soothe himself, but he has a powerful scream even at this young age. Fortunately, we've been able to calm him the three times so far that he has begun wailing. 

If all goes well, we should be in the hospital until Friday having other people help with the mind-numbing number of tasks that need to be accomplished to keep Eli healthy and happy. An advantage of delivering in the middle of the night is that it essentially guarantees you an extra day of hospital care. Judging from the advice of everyone we know, we need to take advantage of this luxury because it won't last! 

Meet Eli Jamie O'Connor

Shelby delivered a happy, healthy baby boy early this morning. Eli Jamie O'Connor came out at a fighting weight of 6 lb, 14 oz. Both Eli and Shelby are resting very comfortably. Eli is eating well, has a really loud set of pipes, and is almost unfathomably cute.